What Marathon Training Taught Me About Healing

In this personal episode, I take you behind the scenes of my Boston Marathon qualifying journey and reveal the unexpected parallels I've discovered between athletic training and healing our relationship with food. 

I share how shifting from bracing against discomfort to opening up to possibility has transformed not just my running performance, but offers a powerful framework for approaching food challenges.

You'll hear about the crucial role of community support, the mindset shifts that create breakthrough moments, and how embracing the process rather than fixating on outcomes creates freedom in both running and eating. 

Whether you're struggling with binge eating or simply seeking a new perspective on healing, this episode offers practical wisdom about transformation that applies far beyond the marathon course.

Previous Episodes Mentioned:

The Power of Co-Regulation

Marathon Recap & Lessons Learned

Experiences Are More Important Than Results

Cultivate Group Coaching Program is open now. Learn more and join. 

Want to know why you struggle with food and what to do next? Start watching The Food Freedom Mini Series today. 

Transcript

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What happens when we shift from fear and doubt to openness and possibility? Today, I'm sharing my marathon training journey and how changing my relationship with discomfort has transformed not just my running, but how I show up for challenges in all areas of life and how you can too. Welcome to Binge Eating Breakthrough, the podcast to help you stop feeling out of control around food and build trust with your body. If you've tried everything but still feel stuck, you're not alone. I've been there too. I'm Jane Pilger, and I'm here to help you see binge eating in a new way so you can finally break free. Each week you'll get the tools and insights to create peace with food and your body. Your breakthrough starts now. Hello, trusted listener. I consider you a trusted listener because you're here seeking insight and understanding on your journey with food, just as I've been seeking insight and understanding on my own athletic journey and specifically recently, my journey with running. And today I'm going to take you behind the scenes of my marathon quest. And also, really, we're going to dive into the parallels that I've discovered between athletic training and healing our relationship with food. So my hope for this episode is that you're going to get, for those of you who are interested in my story and my journey and my quest to qualify for the Boston Marathon, you'll get some updates, but that you will also be able to see how this parallel with my relationship with food, my desire for food freedom. How can I take what is happening with me? How can I, as a listener, then take what is happening with Jane and apply these lessons into my own life? That's my invitation for you as you listen to this. So if you are listening to this episode live when it comes out at the end of April in 2025, uh, I am running this weekend, this coming weekend, I am running the Eugene Marathon. This will be my third attempt in the last year, I guess, my third attempt to run a Boston qualifying time. Uh I have a previous episode uh that I will link in the show notes where I did this race, this exact race last April, and I did not reach my goal of qualifying Boston, but I had the most incredible finish line experience. So if you have not listened to that episode, I'll go ahead and link it up in the show notes so you can uh hear about that. So that was last April. I ran the Eugene Marathon, and then I ran another marathon. It was another attempt at the Santa Rosa Marathon in August. And then I went on, and in December of last year, I raced in the Iron Man 70.3 World Championships in New Zealand. So basically, what happened was after New Zealand, after that race in New Zealand, it was mid-December, I took about three weeks of no structured training. We did a lot of hiking in New Zealand, spent a lot of time outside, but a lot of very intentional rest for my body. And it was amazing. My body really appreciated it. I started training again some point in January, and my body was feeling pretty good. It was feeling good, it was feeling rested. So that is one of the things I'm gonna, as I share this kind of story with you, what I my my intention is to kind of just highlight some key concepts. So one of them was really rest and recovery. And taking three weeks completely off of structure training had a few little kind of niggles here and there that were leading up to uh New Zealand. And there was definitely some mental fatigue. And once I took those three weeks off, it was amazing. My body was really ready to get back to it. So, how does this parallel to your food journey as you're listening to this? So, just as I personally, I needed to trust that rest period in my training. Sometimes it's kind of hard to stop training. There can be this fear of, oh, what am I, am I gonna lose something? But many of us, we need to trust that pausing the constant struggle with food doesn't mean giving up. It's just like when I paused my structured training with running, that didn't mean I was giving up. It actually created space for deeper healing in my body. And the same is for you too. If we give up the struggle, we actually create space for healing. Just think about how much energy, mental and physical energy, comes when you are fighting, when it feels like you're fighting with yourself, when you're fighting your willpower, when you're fighting against your body. We need space for deeper healing. And we can't be putting a lot of pressure on ourselves and expect us to be healing at the same time. So the next, the next piece that has been amazing for me, once I started training again back in January, is I reconnected with some supportive friends. I've got three particular friends that I've been doing most of my training with. These women are amazing. They are all older than I am. They are 53, 58, and 68 years old. They inspire me so much. Now, these women, we have such a great relationship. These women, they're all a bit faster runners than I am. Not by a lot, but they are faster than me. But we have this amazing, like mutual benefit, mutually beneficial relationship where they love that I show up and I bring the workout. Here's what we're gonna do. I love having them there and relying on them, meeting with them, knowing that they are there and that they that that I just I push myself more when I'm with them. So we're showing up for each other. It's a lot easier for me to get up for those challenging runs when I know there's somebody there waiting for me, even when it's cold, even when it's dark. They're there, we're all in it together. So, for you as a listener, how then do you apply this? Have you noticed? And maybe you maybe you haven't had this experience for yourself, but I can promise you that here's it what I see happen so often. When you have the right support, it is much easier to face your food challenges. It's just like my running buddies. They're waiting for me on cold dark mornings. Having people who understand your food struggles, it creates this environment where you have accountability if you want it, but there's no judgment. There are people there waiting for you, cheering for you, encouraging you, believing in you. It's a huge factor. And I see this so much within our cultivate group, where we have this community, this support. And even not in the cultivate group, even in my with my one-on-one clients, they have the support of me anytime they need. I am there. Okay, another key component really for me has been a shift in mindset. So, what I've really noticed, and actually what was amazing to me is my friends really pointed out this this out to me. They said, you are definitely, they said you're definitely running faster, which I agreed. Yes, I am running faster. And what I really was able to see is not only am I running faster, but I'm running faster with less effort. If I look at the same workouts, the exact same workouts last year that I'm doing this year, I can see, wow, it is taking less effort and I'm running faster. And I think, and I got to thinking, okay, what has shifted for me? There's been a shift in how I'm thinking about it. And that shift has led to a shift in my nervous system, how it's responding. So, what I can see in that shift, I've really shifted my approach to the workouts from this will be hard. I don't know if I can do it. That's how I used to go into these hard workouts. Now I do still think, yeah, this is going to be challenging, but it's I look forward to seeing what I'm capable of. Yes, it will be challenging, but I'm ready. I'm up for the challenge. It shifts in my nervous system from a threat, like I don't know if I can do it, kind of bracing in my nervous system to opening up to the possibility. This is a challenge, but I'm open to it. Let's see what's possible. You can feel the shift. It goes from bracing fear, doubt, this will be hard. I don't know if I can do it, to openness. Let's see what's possible. Yeah, it is going to be a challenge and I'm ready. So for you, as you're listening, think about how this applies to your relationship with food. What if instead of bracing with fear around challenging food situations, you approach them with curiosity about what's possible? So let's say you have a party to go to, you know there's going to be a potluck, you go to a restaurant, instead of thinking, oh my gosh, I'm totally going to overeat, what am I going to do? You notice that bracing, you notice the fear. You notice that kind of like it feels threatening. What if you were able to shift, to open up to curiosity? Huh? What if? What could be possible? Yeah, it might be more challenging to go to a party than to stay at home. It might be more challenging to go to a restaurant than to stay at home. But do you really want an environment where you are only able to eat in your house for the rest of your life? No, you probably don't. How can you open up to what might be possible? It's just like I could keep running at this same pace for the rest of my life and be fine. Nobody, nothing is going to change in my life if I run faster, except for my perception of myself, for me knowing what is possible, the way that I see myself as a runner. That's really what's changing. It's me seeing what's possible, wanting to grow, wanting to expand. It's the same thing with your relationship with food. What if you opened up and approached it with curiosity instead of bracing with fear and doubt and uncertainty? The difference is huge. I can see so clearly when I look back. When I made this shift, I opened up to allowing myself to experience different results, to experience running these paces in a way. And here's what I know. I could not run these paces from a place of bracing, from a place of doubt and closing down in my nervous system. My nervous system wouldn't allow it, my body wouldn't allow it. But now, when I open up to it, that's where my nervous system is open to the possibility of doing something different. All right. So another big key concept for me has been co-regulation. Co-regulation along with discomfort. So last week's episode talked about co-regulation. And I will link to it in the show notes in the event that you have not listened to that episode yet. Co-regulation is such a powerful concept. Really, all of us as human beings, we are able to tolerate more discomfort when we are supported by others. And I have noticed that so clearly with my running friends. When we are doing challenging workouts, I know that when I am with them, yes, it's still uncomfortable, but literally just knowing that they're there, okay, they can do this, I can do this. I'm here, I'm supported. They're here with me. Just that alone brings in comfort. It brings in support. And when you combine that with what you focus on, focus on the gratitude to have the support, focus on the willingness to open up to it. That is the magical combination. So, how do you relate this to your own journey with food? Just as I can push through physical discomfort better when I'm running with my friends, particularly in those challenging runs, you might also find you are able to navigate emotional discomfort around food more effectively with the right support system. Think about it. Most people who struggle with food struggle in silence. They don't have somebody to talk to about their challenges. They feel like they're broken, like something's wrong with them. They look at other people who are eating with seemingly with lots of ease and comfort. And they wonder, why can't I do that? Why can't I be like everybody else? But they don't have anyone to talk to. They don't feel understood or seen. They don't have somebody who can help them see things in a different way and offer a different perspective so that this discomfort can shift. That's what having support will do for you. So if you don't have support around your food challenges, I really recommend that you find support. Just as I found these friends to run with. And I want to tell you, these were not, this is not the first time I tried to find support. I reached out, I asked. There were some people I tried running with, didn't work. Sometimes schedules didn't work. Sometimes it just wasn't the right fit. But when you can find the support that you need where you know that yes, I am better with the support than I am without it, that's how you know you've found the right support. And be willing for it to take some time, be willing to try on different types of support. Sometimes we don't know until we get in there to see is this support, does this really feel helpful? Does this feel supportive? I've had a couple of times where I've gone on runs with people and been like, yeah, I don't know. That didn't really feel so great. Maybe that's not the support. But when you find it, then you know, wow, I have this support. And then what's so amazing is as you get support that really knows you and understands you, then they are able to show up for you in ways you don't even know, you don't even realize. Within this uh group of running friends, they created a text thread and they named the text thread Road to BQ, the Boston qualifying. And they made the little emoji on our group text. It is the unicorn, which is the um the mascot for the bat, the Boston Marathon. And they made it in the little Boston colors. So every time I see a text from this group, I see Road to BQ. That is my reticular activating system now at work doing that. So powerful. This is like the this is another big concept. Surrounding yourself with vision. So that text group with a unicorn emoji. I've got a couple of other examples. These friends, they have all run the Boston Marathon before. Sometimes when we they show up for workouts, especially the challenging ones, they'll wear a Boston jacket or shirt. Because I said, I mentioned one time somebody was wearing a Boston jacket. They were running in front of me during a really hard set. And I told them during one of our recoveries, I said, Oh, every time you are in front of me, I look at that Boston jacket and I remind myself, this is why I'm doing this. I am on the road to Boston. I am doing this because I have this goal, I have this vision. And once I told them that, they showed up. They now show up with Boston gear. I recently ran a half marathon with several of them and they had Boston gear. One of them had a vest that said 50 years. It was celebrating a 50-year milestone at the Boston Marathon, uh, I don't know how many years ago. But I loved seeing this vest in front of me because I'm turning 50 years old this year. I was like, Boston and 50 years. Yes. Another friend gave me a bracelet with the Boston colors that says Boston on it. She gave it to me a couple of weeks ago, and I have been wearing it every day. As I sit here recording this podcast, I am I am holding on to this bracelet. I am playing with this bracelet on my wrist as a little bit of a way for me to regulate my own nervous system and as a reminder of the importance of what I'm doing and what I'm talking about. So the question then, how do you apply this to yourself? How can you surround yourself with reminders of your food freedom vision? Now, here's where some people get this wrong. Some people are like, oh, okay, so I'm gonna put a picture up of like my ideal body, the body that I want to look like, of whatever it is. But when you look at that picture, you feel less than. You're just reminded of what you don't have. We're not here. Food freedom is not a matter of having a specific body that looks in a specific way. That is not food freedom. Food freedom is gonna be how you feel, your relationship when you're around food. This is where I like to talk about that calm, connected, and confident. So, how do you want to surround yourself with reminders of your vision that also when you see them, they feel very supportive. When I see that Boston bracelet, when I wear that Boston bracelet, when I see the jacket, it's like, ah, yes, it reminds me of where I want to go. So think about what you could do, whether it's a symbol, whether it's a mantra, it could be a photo. Just please don't make it a photo of some quote unquote perfect body. That is not what we're after. But there are so many things. Only you will know what resonates. A symbol, a mantra, something that is available to you that reminds you of what you are working towards. Surrounding yourself with vision. Another key component for me has really been embracing my surroundings, embracing signs, what I consider to be signs. So I have loved these early morning runs. We have been running, we've been able to watch the sunrise on so many days. We have been, and as I run, especially in those challenging moments, I'm thinking about the appreciation for the sunrise. I am uh, we also on this trail that we run, there's a lot of wildlife. We can hear woodpeckers. We've seen a porcupine cross the path right in front of us. We have um uh skunks. So a couple of years ago, it's been gosh, probably several years ago now. I don't know exactly how it happened, but I basically decided that the skunk is my spirit animal. I noticed that there were a few times before, like a key workout or a key race or something where I would smell a skunk. And I thought, you know what? I think that the skunk is the way that God talks to me. When I smell a skunk now, my interpretation of that is it's God saying, I've got you. This is going to be a great day or a great workout or whatever. For me, it is a spiritual sign of reassurance. And I can't tell you how many times we've been running and smelled a skunk. So many people, when they smell skunk, they're like, oh, that's gross. And I'm like, Yes. Just this morning I went for a run with a friend, and on the way home, I I smelled skunk. I was like, ah, that is God telling me everything. I am supported. So what signs of progress might you be missing in your own journey? I'm looking for signs. I look for this sign of the skunk. I look for other signs. Sometimes we aren't looking for progress. And we're not looking for progress. If we're not looking, we're not going to find it. And here's what's really important to know. So often the evidence that we are healing and that we are making progress isn't dramatic. Sometimes we can really actually only see it when we look back and when we can reflect on it. But it's those little moments that make a huge difference. Those little moments might be just responding differently to a trigger, the same trigger that might have led to a different result. All of a sudden you notice, huh? I responded differently that time. Or let's say you're actually able to notice beauty in the present moment instead of being consumed by thoughts about food, either what you will eat or what you have eaten that keep you in the future or in the past. When you notice that you're able to be more in the present moment, these are signs of progress. So look for the signs. Get curious, embrace them, appreciate them. And maybe you too have a spirit animal, a spiritual sign that shows you that you are supported. Get curious about it. Open up to the possibility there may be more signs of support and reassurance than you even realize. Open up and look for them. I can tell you, anytime I smell a skunk, I feel so supported. It's incredible. But that wouldn't have happened if I didn't notice, I didn't look for it. Now I can see it. This is the power of putting your brain to work. Another key concept: having a support network. I've mentioned before the friends who inspire and encourage me. Not just my running friends, plenty of other friends supporting, inspiring, encourage me, encouraging me. The half marathon, I did last weekend, I ran a half marathon with so many friends around. Some who were running, some who weren't, wearing their Boston gear. The people that we surround ourselves with shape our beliefs about what's possible. So who do you have in your life right now that helps you believe in your ability to heal your relationship with food? If you are doing this on your own, it will be much harder to get through those challenging times. If I did not have the support system that I have created for myself, I would not be where I am right now. Would I still have the dream? Yes. Would I still be working towards it? Yes. And I would likely have more doubts. I would have more evidence of things that were hard of how I couldn't do it. Because sometimes we need others to believe in us until our own beliefs catch up. So the last thing is really then the mindset going into race day. Right now I feel ready. I feel ready emotionally. I feel ready physically. And the biggest thing for me has really been bringing in gratitude and courage. Those are the two main emotions I am bringing with me into this race day. I am so grateful for so many things. And I am ready to be courageous. I am ready to open up to what's possible. I want to focus on the effort and the experience rather than just the outcome. Do I have an outcome goal in mind? Yes. Do I want to qualify for the Boston Marathon? Yes. But at the end of the day, the biggest thing that I really want is to know that I gave it 100%. Whatever I have on that day, I don't want to have any regrets. And while I'm there, while I'm racing, I am going to be in gratitude and courage. That is the process for me. So how can you apply this to yourself? It's really shifting the focus from the outcome. Do I have an outcome goal? Yes. But if I just focus on the time the whole time, that's not going to be helpful. It's the process, it's the effort. What am I going to do in that moment? When we shift our focus from the outcome to the process, we free ourselves to be present in the present moment. So the question for you is how might your relationship with food change if you put more emphasis, if you really valued the daily practice of listening to your body over the number on the scale? Or how much you ate? Or the size of your body, what your body looked like? What if it was really just daily connecting? What would shift for you? Okay, I have some questions for you as we wrap this up for you to ponder. Question number one: where in your life are you bracing for discomfort rather than opening up to possibility? Question number two. How might having the right support change your relationship with challenges? Question number three. What might it look like to approach your food journey with the same gratitude and courage that I'm bringing to this marathon? Last question. What is your equivalent of qualifying for Boston in your journey with food? What is that meaningful milestone that you're working toward? What is that thing that if you looked back, you were like, wow, I did that. What is that for you? These are a few questions for your brain to work on, asking. These are powerful questions. Powerful questions to get your mind working on what you really, really want for yourself. All right, that's what I have for you today. In the uh the next episode, next week's episode, we're going to be talking about uh really a powerful realization that I had about bodies and even how even Olympic athletes can struggle with their own body image. So if you, if as a human, my guess is you have some body image stuff at some level. Next week's episode is going to be very powerful in talking about that. And I promise I will come back and I will share with you my own recap of the Eugene Marathon, whatever happens. I will come back. I will share what I learned on a future very soon, probably a couple of weeks, uh, share that in a future podcast. Now, here's what I want to know. Want you to know whether I qualify for Boston or not. I am bringing my full self to this experience. And in that same way, I encourage you to bring your full self to your journey with food and with your body. This path to healing is not about perfection. It's not about getting it right. It's about showing up with openness, with curiosity, with self-compassion, and with courage to do things differently. That is what I encourage you to do. Now, if you're struggling to find this kind of supportive mindset on your own food journey and you're listening and you're thinking to yourself, oh my gosh, if only I had the support, support like you're talking about, I want to invite you, I want to invite you to consider a swift support session. Now, a swift support session is an opportunity for you to get support from me directly in a very short way, in a way that's kind of like trying on. What would it be like to get support from Jane? In two focused calls, you will have a very good idea of what it's like. It would be like the equivalent of me going out for a couple of runs with a new friend to see what is this like? Is this a person that I want to surround myself with? It will give you a great chance to find out what is it like to be supported on this journey? I will put a link to the show notes for a Swift Support Sessions. I encourage you to check it out. I invite you to book one, to book your sessions today so that you can get the experience of being supportive, of having someone else to help you see things through a new lens, to help give you the courage and very specific ideas of how you can try something different. All right, that's what I have for you. I will see you next week. If you like what you're hearing on the podcast, you will love my new book, The Binge Eating Breakthrough. Why food isn't the problem and what really is. Discover why willpower isn't the answer, why restricting certain foods often backfires, and why understanding your brain and body is the key to lasting change. Learn to shift from shame and self-blame to curiosity and compassion. Get it today at janepilger.com forward slash book.