Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class Counselors who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.
Episodes
353 episodes
How Unresolved Trauma Can DERAIL Recovery & Relationships!
(Episode 354) What happens when someone who has been sober from pornography or sexual addiction for ten years suddenly begins exhibiting the same unhealthy behaviors that once accompanied their addiction? In this episode, we address a hea...
He Knew Porn Was a Dealbreaker—So Why Did He Marry Me Without Telling Me?
(Episode 353) A betrayed partner discovered after nearly eleven years of marriage that her husband had maintained a secret pornography addiction for more than twenty-five years. What makes the betrayal especially devastating is that he kn...
My Mother & Friends Think I'm Naive & Stupid for Staying with an Addict—Am I?!
(Episode 352) A betrayed partner wrote to us because, although her addict partner has recently become more proactive in recovery, she worries that her mother and friends now see her as weak, naive, or stupid for staying. Her mother previo...
He Spent Decades Secretly Lusting—Now He Says Other Women Repulse Him—Should I Believe Him?
(Episode 351) A betrayed partner wrote to us about her husband’s roughly 33-year history of hidden lust addiction and a specific sexual fixation involving women’s bodies that remained secret throughout their 15-year relationship. Since D-...
"I Choose You" Means Nothing If His Eyes and Actions Keep Choosing Others!
(Episode 350) For a betrayed partner, few things are more painful than hearing, “I choose you,” while continuing to discover that her partner’s eyes, attention, sexuality, and actions are still being directed toward other women. In this e...
His Relapses Hurt, but Ongoing Lies and Manipulation of Reality are the Real Crisis!
(Episode 349) Relapse in pornography or sex addiction absolutely matters, but it is often not the most fundamental threat to a relationship. The deeper crisis is what happens when relapse is followed by secrecy, lying, minimizing, withholding, ...
Is it My Job to Educate My Addict Partner about My Betrayal Trauma & My Boundaries?
(Episode 348) A betrayed partner who has a history of neglect, abuse, people-pleasing, or self-abandonment may find it especially difficult to identify and defend her own wants, needs, and boundaries after betrayal. She may feel compelled...
Can my Partner with 2 Decades of Porn Use & Years of Secrecy & Lying Genuinely Recover?
In Episode 347, a betrayed partner who recently ended a three-year relationship asks whether her former partner can genuinely recover after more than two decades of compulsive pornography use, high-risk sexual behaviors, drug-fueled acting out,...
If He Doesn't Think Porn Is Bad, Can He Still Truly Recover??
In Episode 346, a betrayed partner wonders whether her husband can genuinely recover from pornography addiction when he admits that lying, hiding, gaslighting, and hurting her are wrong but still insists that pornography itself is not “bad.” Wh...
My Addiction Shattered My Wife; She Wants a Divorce, but I Don't. Now What?!
In episode 345, a couple is facing the enormous aftermath of pornography addiction, sexual betrayal, deception, failed disclosure, and trickle truth. The husband reports that he is now 18 months sober, has become rigorously honest and transpare...
After his Gaslighting, Betrayal and Integrity Abuse, My Intuition is Broken!
Episode 344—Long-term betrayal and integrity abuse can severely disrupt a betrayed partner’s ability to trust her own perceptions. After repeatedly sensing that something was wrong, being told she was mistaken, and later discovering that her in...
He's Honest About Relapses, But His Spiraling Shame and Neediness Cycle is Exhausting!
The partner in this situation (Episode 343) recognizes that her husband’s honesty about two recent relapses represents meaningful progress after years of pornography use, self-gratification, betrayal, and deception. However, the aftermath of th...
Why Do I Keep Lying to My Partner About the Stupidest Little Things?!
PBSE, Episode 342—Lying in addiction can take many forms, including outright denial, omission, minimization, exaggeration, deflection, gaslighting, and carefully constructed half-truths. Even when the subject of the lie appears trivial, the imp...
From Shame and Survival to Honesty and Wholeness—Is Real Lasting Change Possible?
A person who has struggled with addiction for many years may begin to believe that he is uniquely broken and incapable of lasting change. Repeated relapses, betrayal, damaged relationships, spiritual conflict, and overwhelming shame can make re...
When His Recovery Journey Is Destroying Her Healing Journey
In this episode (340), we respond to a deeply painful submission from a betrayed partner who is trying to determine whether she can stay in a marriage where her husband’s recovery journey seems to be destroying her own healing journey. She disc...
Sexualized Media, Movies & Other Content—Can They Ever Be Safe Again in True Recovery?
In this episode (339), we explore whether sexualized media, movies with nudity, provocative social media, and other triggering content can ever be considered “safe” again in true recovery from pornography addiction or compulsive sexual behavior...
When Porn Addiction Evolves into AI Fantasy Using the Partner as the “Character”
In this episode (338), we explore a new but increasingly common form of betrayal: porn addiction escalating into AI-generated sexual fantasy, including the use of a partner’s image or likeness as the “character” in altered images, videos, or wr...
What to Do When an Addict Uses Recovery to Avoid Caring About His Partner?
This episode (#337) addresses the painful experience of a betrayed partner whose husband claims he is “in recovery” after a relapse, but continues to severely lack empathy, respond defensively, withdraw emotionally, and use recovery language as...
Betrayal Trauma, Childhood Trauma & My Own Addiction—Where Do I Even Start?
This episode (336) explores the painful and complicated reality of a young betrayed partner who is trying to recover from betrayal trauma while also carrying childhood trauma and her own history with porn/sex addiction. We begin by validating t...
Healthy Sexuality or Pornified Performance? Navigating Lingerie, Fantasies, Kinks, & Authentic Intimacy in Recovery
In this episode (335), we respond to a courageous submission from a betrayed partner who is navigating early recovery with her partner after multiple discovery days. Both partners have trauma histories, both are in individual therapy, and both ...
Am I REALLY Recovering—Or Just Using My Partner Instead of Porn?
In Episode 334, we respond to a submission from a man in early recovery who discovered, with honesty and concern, that he may be relying on his partner sexually in order to avoid relapse. His partner discovered his porn addiction, he disclosed ...
"Why Do Intrusive Mental Images Still Hit Me—Even Years Into His Recovery?"
In this episode (#333), we address a question from a betrayed partner who is about three years into sex addiction recovery and betrayal trauma healing with her partner. Although he has been sober, involved in 12-step recovery, working with a sp...
Half-In, Half-Out Recovery: He Says He’s Changing but Keeps the “Addiction Door” Cracked Open
In this PBSE episode (#332), we explore what it means when an addict says he is changing but continues to keep the “addiction door” cracked open. A betrayed partner may see signs that look like recovery—porn blockers, monitoring software, more ...
If He will NOT face His Porn Addiction—You as a Partner MUST find Your Voice NOW!
In this episode (#331), we respond to a betrayed partner who discovered her husband’s ongoing porn use while she was pregnant and has since caught him multiple times in the same painful cycle: he apologizes, promises to stop, briefly improves, ...
No D-Day, No Disclosure—But I KNOW I’ve Been Betrayed: Healing from Integrity Abuse When the Truth Is Still Hidden
In Episode 330, Mark & Steve address a uniquely painful and confusing experience for many betrayed partners: living with a deep sense of betrayal and trauma without ever receiving a full disclosure or definitive proof of wrongdoing. We expl...