Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class Counselors who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.
Episodes
318 episodes
When Betrayal is Confessed, What are Healthy Boundaries for the Partner & Addict?
When betrayal is confessed, both partners are immediately forced into territory they never chose. In this episode (#319), we address a powerful submission from a man whose pornography use and delayed disclosure led to the end of a serious relat...
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Episode 319
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37:35
Can "Just Looking" Destroy a Marriage: Understanding Visual Sexual Addiction
In this episode (#318), we respond to a deeply painful and thought-provoking submission from a partner married for fifteen years who discovered her husband’s long-standing pattern of visual sexual behaviors. While he insists he rarely masturbat...
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Episode 318
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44:05
From Shock to Self–Trust: Reclaiming Your Inner Truth After Betrayal
In this episode (#317), we address one of the most destabilizing experiences betrayed partners face: the collapse of reality after discovering a partner’s hidden addiction. When betrayal comes from someone who appeared kind, loving, and emotion...
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Episode 317
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36:32
What Does "Proactive Honesty" in Your Daily Life & Relationships Look Like?
In this episode (#316) we focus on the critical role of proactive honesty in healing relationships impacted by addiction, betrayal, and trauma. Proactive honesty goes far beyond “not lying”—it means leading with truth rather than waiti...
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Episode 316
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47:09
No Bullsh*t—What’s ACTUALLY Blocking An Addict’s TRUE Change?
This episode (#315) challenges the common illusion that visible recovery behaviors—meetings, therapy, sobriety streaks—automatically equal real change. Using a devastating listener submission as the catalyst, we explain why relapse after “recov...
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Episode 315
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44:05
How to Attain REAL and LASTING Change in 2026!
As a new year begins, many addicts and betrayed partners feel both hope and heartbreak—hope that things can change, and heartbreak from remembering all the years they didn’t. In this episode, we explain why traditional New Year’s resolutions of...
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Episode 314
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40:40
Face the Devastation You Have Heaped Upon Your Partner and then CHOOSE TO CHANGE!
In episode #313, we address a hard but necessary truth: addicts cannot change what they refuse to see. Using two deeply moving submissions from betrayed partners, we illustrate how years of porn use, dishonesty, staggered disclosure, and fake r...
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Episode 313
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48:23
My Partner is in Recovery. Should we let the past go and move on? Is there a place for “grieving” what was lost?
Episode 312—Many couples in recovery assume that progress means focusing only on the future, but this mindset often overlooks the deep losses created by addiction and betrayal. Partners may grieve the relationship they thought they had, the yea...
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Episode 312
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35:43
After Years of Porn Use, Will I Ever See My Partner as the “Most Attractive” Person in My Life?
In this episode (#311), we respond to a vulnerable question from an addict early in recovery who wonders whether years of porn use have permanently damaged his ability to see his wife as the most attractive person in his life. He worries that n...
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Episode 311
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34:59
When are Specific Details about an Addict's Behavior Helpful or Harmful for a Partner?
This episode (#310) examines one of the most complex issues couples face after sexual betrayal: determining which details about an addict’s behavior genuinely help the betrayed partner heal, and which unintentionally deepen her trauma. When dis...
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Episode 310
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45:44
What is "Integrity Abuse" and How does it Impact the Betrayed Partner?
In Episode 309, Mark & Steve address a PBSE listener's questions about "Integrity abuse," which is a relational pattern where one partner chronically violates core commitments—honesty, transparency, fidelity, emotional responsibility, and s...
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Episode 309
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43:40
Why My Body Shuts Down: Understanding Sexual Trauma Responses After Years of Betrayal
This episode (#308) focuses on a partner whose body has completely shut down sexually after decades of betrayal, manipulation, and sexual violation—including being touched while unconscious. We explain how her body has not suddenly changed sinc...
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Episode 308
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37:19
How Do We Discover/Recover Healthy Sexual Intimacy After Sexual Toxicity and Betrayal?
In episode 307, Mark & Steve respond to an all-too-common history and situation submitted by a betrayed partner. Healthy sexual intimacy after betrayal cannot simply return to what it once was; it must be rebuilt on a new foundation of auth...
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Episode 307
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46:03
Is my Partner a clinical "Narcissist" or does he just have Narcissistic Tendencies?
This episode (#306) addresses a common but painful question from betrayed partners: “Is my spouse a narcissist, or just showing narcissistic tendencies?” Mark and Steve explain that while the term “narcissist” has become a cultural buz...
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Episode 306
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45:11
My Porn Addicted Partner uses photos of Family & Friends to Fantasize! What Do I Do?!
This episode (#305) opens with a raw letter from a betrayed partner who discovered her husband had been using social media photos of women they both knew—friends, clients, even family—to fuel his sexual fantasies. Her anguish—“How could he ...
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Episode 305
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48:38
In a Relationship Filled with Betrayal—How Can I Trust He will Not Betray Me Again?!
In Episode 304, Mark and Steve address a powerful letter from a partner whose relationship began in betrayal—her husband secretly continued sexual involvement with his ex while dating her and later maintained years of hidden pornography use. De...
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Episode 304
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39:39
What does ACTUAL Accountability look like for a Porn/Sex Addict in REAL Recovery?
In PBSE Episode 303, Mark and Steve respond to a betrayed partner's questions about what real accountability looks like for a recovering porn/sex addict. Real accountability in porn and sex addiction recovery is far more than saying “I’m sorry....
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Episode 303
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43:49
My Partner says He Only Has Eyes for Me—but He’s Hooked on Porn—Should I Believe Him?
In this PBSE episode (#302), Mark & Steve respond to a betrayed partner who faces an all-too-common form of "double-dealing." When a partner says “you’re the most beautiful woman in the world” but secretly consumes porn featuring people who...
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Episode 302
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39:19
How Does a Porn/Sex Addict Coercing His Partner into Acting Out Fantasies Impact Them Both?
This episode of the PBSE Podcast (#301) centers on the question, “How does a porn/sex addict coercing his partner into acting out fantasies impact them both?” Mark and Steve begin by acknowledging the devastating reality of such coerci...
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Episode 301
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45:25
When Touch Feels Like Pressure: Breaking Free from Over-Sexualization
Episode 300 highlights the raw submission of a betrayed partner struggling with a husband who pressures her sexually despite her clear “not yet.” He gawked, grabbed, and dismissed her boundaries while excusing his behavior as a “high sex drive....
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Episode 300
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46:50
Big Gestures, Broken Trust—Living in the Cycle of Empty Commitments
In this episode (#299), Mark and Steve respond to a betrayed partner’s story of exhaustion after five years of broken promises from her addict spouse. Despite his grand gestures—weekly check-ins, new hobbies, and podcast listening—he repeatedly...
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Episode 299
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46:18
As a Recovering Porn & Sex Addict—What Is Keeping Me In My Marriage?
In this powerful PBSE conversation (Episode 298), we respond to a listener who vulnerably asked whether he is staying in his marriage out of love—or out of fear and obligation. Three and a half months into the space between Discovery Day and fu...
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Episode 298
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35:23
"Everyone Thinks He’s Great . . . But They Don’t Know the Whole Story"
In Episode 297, Mark & Steve respond to a heart-felt submission by a porn/sex addict in active recovery. He describes an ongoing situation that is very difficult for his betrayed partner and shows a great deal of genuine concern for her. He...
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Episode 297
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38:12
When Loving Him Means Losing Me—Do I Stay or Go?!
When a partner reaches the heartbreaking point of saying, “I love him, but I feel I’m losing myself,” the question of staying or leaving becomes urgent. After 21 years of repeated betrayal, secrecy, and broken promises, one woman wonders how lo...
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Episode 296
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41:14
My Partner uses Porn to Punish Me for Not Losing Weight. How do I Recover from That?!
This episode (#295) examines the devastating impact of a husband who weaponized pornography and withheld intimacy as punishment for his wife not meeting his “ideal” body standard. Over two decades, his rejection inflicted a “self-esteem massacr...
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Episode 295
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47:55