Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class Counselors who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.
Episodes
310 episodes
After Years of Porn Use, Will I Ever See My Partner as the “Most Attractive” Person in My Life?
In this episode (#311), we respond to a vulnerable question from an addict early in recovery who wonders whether years of porn use have permanently damaged his ability to see his wife as the most attractive person in his life. He worries that n...
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Episode 311
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34:59
When are Specific Details about an Addict's Behavior Helpful or Harmful for a Partner?
This episode (#310) examines one of the most complex issues couples face after sexual betrayal: determining which details about an addict’s behavior genuinely help the betrayed partner heal, and which unintentionally deepen her trauma. When dis...
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Episode 310
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45:44
What is "Integrity Abuse" and How does it Impact the Betrayed Partner?
In Episode 309, Mark & Steve address a PBSE listener's questions about "Integrity abuse," which is a relational pattern where one partner chronically violates core commitments—honesty, transparency, fidelity, emotional responsibility, and s...
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Episode 309
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43:40
Why My Body Shuts Down: Understanding Sexual Trauma Responses After Years of Betrayal
This episode (#308) focuses on a partner whose body has completely shut down sexually after decades of betrayal, manipulation, and sexual violation—including being touched while unconscious. We explain how her body has not suddenly changed sinc...
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Episode 308
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37:19
How Do We Discover/Recover Healthy Sexual Intimacy After Sexual Toxicity and Betrayal?
In episode 307, Mark & Steve respond to an all-too-common history and situation submitted by a betrayed partner. Healthy sexual intimacy after betrayal cannot simply return to what it once was; it must be rebuilt on a new foundation of auth...
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Episode 307
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46:03
Is my Partner a clinical "Narcissist" or does he just have Narcissistic Tendencies?
This episode (#306) addresses a common but painful question from betrayed partners: “Is my spouse a narcissist, or just showing narcissistic tendencies?” Mark and Steve explain that while the term “narcissist” has become a cultural buz...
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Episode 306
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45:11
My Porn Addicted Partner uses photos of Family & Friends to Fantasize! What Do I Do?!
This episode (#305) opens with a raw letter from a betrayed partner who discovered her husband had been using social media photos of women they both knew—friends, clients, even family—to fuel his sexual fantasies. Her anguish—“How could he ...
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Episode 305
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48:38
In a Relationship Filled with Betrayal—How Can I Trust He will Not Betray Me Again?!
In Episode 304, Mark and Steve address a powerful letter from a partner whose relationship began in betrayal—her husband secretly continued sexual involvement with his ex while dating her and later maintained years of hidden pornography use. De...
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Episode 304
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39:39
What does ACTUAL Accountability look like for a Porn/Sex Addict in REAL Recovery?
In PBSE Episode 303, Mark and Steve respond to a betrayed partner's questions about what real accountability looks like for a recovering porn/sex addict. Real accountability in porn and sex addiction recovery is far more than saying “I’m sorry....
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Episode 303
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43:49
My Partner says He Only Has Eyes for Me—but He’s Hooked on Porn—Should I Believe Him?
In this PBSE episode (#302), Mark & Steve respond to a betrayed partner who faces an all-too-common form of "double-dealing." When a partner says “you’re the most beautiful woman in the world” but secretly consumes porn featuring people who...
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Episode 302
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39:19
How Does a Porn/Sex Addict Coercing His Partner into Acting Out Fantasies Impact Them Both?
This episode of the PBSE Podcast (#301) centers on the question, “How does a porn/sex addict coercing his partner into acting out fantasies impact them both?” Mark and Steve begin by acknowledging the devastating reality of such coerci...
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Episode 301
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45:25
When Touch Feels Like Pressure: Breaking Free from Over-Sexualization
Episode 300 highlights the raw submission of a betrayed partner struggling with a husband who pressures her sexually despite her clear “not yet.” He gawked, grabbed, and dismissed her boundaries while excusing his behavior as a “high sex drive....
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Episode 300
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46:50
Big Gestures, Broken Trust—Living in the Cycle of Empty Commitments
In this episode (#299), Mark and Steve respond to a betrayed partner’s story of exhaustion after five years of broken promises from her addict spouse. Despite his grand gestures—weekly check-ins, new hobbies, and podcast listening—he repeatedly...
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Episode 299
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46:18
As a Recovering Porn & Sex Addict—What Is Keeping Me In My Marriage?
In this powerful PBSE conversation (Episode 298), we respond to a listener who vulnerably asked whether he is staying in his marriage out of love—or out of fear and obligation. Three and a half months into the space between Discovery Day and fu...
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Episode 298
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35:23
"Everyone Thinks He’s Great . . . But They Don’t Know the Whole Story"
In Episode 297, Mark & Steve respond to a heart-felt submission by a porn/sex addict in active recovery. He describes an ongoing situation that is very difficult for his betrayed partner and shows a great deal of genuine concern for her. He...
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Episode 297
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38:12
When Loving Him Means Losing Me—Do I Stay or Go?!
When a partner reaches the heartbreaking point of saying, “I love him, but I feel I’m losing myself,” the question of staying or leaving becomes urgent. After 21 years of repeated betrayal, secrecy, and broken promises, one woman wonders how lo...
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Episode 296
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41:14
My Partner uses Porn to Punish Me for Not Losing Weight. How do I Recover from That?!
This episode (#295) examines the devastating impact of a husband who weaponized pornography and withheld intimacy as punishment for his wife not meeting his “ideal” body standard. Over two decades, his rejection inflicted a “self-esteem massacr...
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Episode 295
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47:55
Healing for Betrayed Partners with a Sexually Abusive Past (PART 2)
This is PBSE Episode 295—When betrayal trauma collides with a history of childhood sexual abuse, partners often feel doubly overwhelmed, carrying both the scars of the past and the pain of the present. Silence, a survival strategy from childhoo...
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Episode 294
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40:05
The Impact of a Sexually Abusive Childhood on a Betrayed Partner (PART 1)
In Episode 293, Mark ands Steve address how childhood sexual abuse is a form of complex trauma that imprints deeply on a survivor’s understanding of love, trust, and sexuality. It often distorts sexual norms, blurs boundaries between consent an...
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Episode 293
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36:02
I Keep Finding Myself Hurt In Relationships with Porn/Sex Addicts—How Do I Break the Cycle?
This episode (#292) explores the repeated heartbreak many betrayed partners experience when they unknowingly enter relationships with porn or sex addicts, offering both empathy and practical strategies for breaking the cycle. It begins by affir...
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Episode 292
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37:55
Advice for Young Adults Balancing Mental Health, School, Life and Porn Addiction
In response to a powerful message from an 18-year-old listener, Mark and Steve devote this episode to young adults balancing school, mental health, and porn addiction. They applaud the listener’s maturity and self-awareness and use his story as...
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Episode 291
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40:26
Can I Have a Healthy Relationship with my Addict Partner without him Sharing His Past?
Episode 290 of the PBSE Podcast explores a powerful question submitted by a betrayed partner whose addict husband is in active recovery but refuses to discuss his past. The discussion centers on what real intimacy requires—emotional nakedness, ...
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Episode 290
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42:22
My Betrayed Partner regularly Screams & Lashes Out . . . How can I Help Her?
This episode tackles the heartfelt question of a recovering porn addict whose wife frequently screams, lashes out, and accuses him of lying—despite his efforts at sobriety and support. We emphasize that these outbursts often stem from deep, lay...
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Episode 289
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37:29
My Porn/Sex Addicted Partner tells me I just need to "Get over it" . . . So now what?!
In this powerful episode, we address the heart-wrenching story of a betrayed partner whose marriage has been scarred by nearly two decades of emotional abuse, chronic dishonesty, and sexual betrayal. Despite having initiated divorce proceedings...
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Episode 288
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38:13
My Addict Partner Keeps going Through Cycles of Taking Me For Granted! What Do I Do?
PBSE Podcast Episode 287 explores the recurring emotional turmoil experienced by a betrayed partner whose addict spouse continues to cycle through emotional relapses, despite seemingly engaging in recovery activities. Every six months, he emoti...
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Episode 287
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33:26