Porn, Betrayal, Sex and the Experts — PBSE
Two sex addicts in long-term successful recovery are ALSO world-class Counselors who specialize in porn and sex addiction recovery. Drawing on 40 years of combined personal and professional experience, Mark and Steve get RAW and REAL about HOW to overcome addiction, heal betrayal trauma and save your marriage. If you're struggling with addiction—we get it. Recovery is hard. We've been there. We'll help you take the fight to your addiction like never before. If you're married to an addict—we KNOW what it's like to nearly destroy a marriage! We'll help you understand the world of your husband's addiction and begin healing your betrayal trauma, regardless of what he decides to do. You don't have to stay stuck. You don't have to keep suffering. We've made all the mistakes so you don't have to. Take back your life. Take back your marriage. Let's do this together! This is the PBSE podcast.
Episodes
331 episodes
Half-In, Half-Out Recovery: He Says He’s Changing but Keeps the “Addiction Door” Cracked Open
In this PBSE episode (#332), we explore what it means when an addict says he is changing but continues to keep the “addiction door” cracked open. A betrayed partner may see signs that look like recovery—porn blockers, monitoring software, more ...
If He will NOT face His Porn Addiction—You as a Partner MUST find Your Voice NOW!
In this episode (#331), we respond to a betrayed partner who discovered her husband’s ongoing porn use while she was pregnant and has since caught him multiple times in the same painful cycle: he apologizes, promises to stop, briefly improves, ...
No D-Day, No Disclosure—But I KNOW I’ve Been Betrayed: Healing from Integrity Abuse When the Truth Is Still Hidden
In Episode 330, Mark & Steve address a uniquely painful and confusing experience for many betrayed partners: living with a deep sense of betrayal and trauma without ever receiving a full disclosure or definitive proof of wrongdoing. We expl...
We Want a Family, But He Just Disclosed His Porn Addiction—Now What?
In this episode (329), Mark and Steve address a submission from a betrayed wife whose husband has recently disclosed a porn addiction just as they were preparing to start a family. They acknowledge the immense emotional tension she is carrying:...
He Says He Chooses Me... So Why Is He Still Thinking About Other Women?!
In this episode (328), we address a powerful and heartbreaking question from a betrayed partner: how can her partner claim to love and choose her while continuing to have sexual thoughts about other women? We acknowledge the profound trauma thi...
He Turned Me Into Porn . . . Now I Don't Want Sex at All—Is This Normal?!
This episode (327) centers on a betrayed partner who, after uncovering her husband’s secret pornography use, finds herself increasingly sexually averse despite his apparent efforts toward recovery. Her experience is compounded by a history of c...
The NECESSITY of Community in Recovery & Healing for Addicts and Betrayed Partners
In Episode 326, we highlight the critical truth that both addiction and betrayal trauma are fueled by isolation and secrecy, making community an essential part of the healing process. Addicts often withdraw due to shame and fear of judgment, wh...
Why Does My Heart Keep Moving Further Away . . . Even Though He’s Finally Trying?!
Episode 325 centers on a betrayed partner who feels increasingly disconnected from her husband, even though he has recently begun making genuine recovery efforts. After ten years of repeated cycles of acting out, partial truth, gaslighting, and...
Can I or We ever Heal from his Trickled Truths, Multiple D-Days and Ongoing Lies?!
Many betrayed partners face the heartbreaking experience of trickle truth—when pieces of the truth about sexual betrayal emerge slowly over time instead of all at once. In this episode (324), we respond to a partner who experienced an in...
Can Someone Who Lived a Secret Sexual Life for 40 Years Ever be Truly Sober?
In this episode (323), we address a heartbreaking submission from a betrayed partner who discovered that her husband of over forty years had been living a secret sexual life throughout their entire marriage. After decades of pornography use, st...
Relationship Healing Lives or Dies on "Consistent Transparency!"
(PBSE Episode 322) In relationships impacted by pornography or sex addiction, the greatest damage often comes not only from the betrayal itself but from the pattern of secrecy and withheld truth that surrounds it. Many betrayed partners find th...
Guardrails or Walls? Moving from Sexual Aversion to Healthy Intimacy in Recovery
Episode 321 addresses a vulnerable question from a man in recovery who fears he may have “overcorrected”—moving from sexual addiction to sexual numbness. After establishing over a year of sobriety, he wonders if suppressing his sexuality has le...
He has the Right to Completely Screw Up His Life!
In episode 320, we address a betrayed partner’s heartbreaking story of separation turning into divorce as her husband’s addiction spirals further out of control. What was supposed to be a wake-up call instead became deeper indulgence, leaving h...
When Betrayal is Confessed, What are Healthy Boundaries for the Partner & Addict?
When betrayal is confessed, both partners are immediately forced into territory they never chose. In this episode (#319), we address a powerful submission from a man whose pornography use and delayed disclosure led to the end of a serious relat...
Can "Just Looking" Destroy a Marriage: Understanding Visual Sexual Addiction
In this episode (#318), we respond to a deeply painful and thought-provoking submission from a partner married for fifteen years who discovered her husband’s long-standing pattern of visual sexual behaviors. While he insists he rarely masturbat...
From Shock to Self–Trust: Reclaiming Your Inner Truth After Betrayal
In this episode (#317), we address one of the most destabilizing experiences betrayed partners face: the collapse of reality after discovering a partner’s hidden addiction. When betrayal comes from someone who appeared kind, loving, and emotion...
What Does "Proactive Honesty" in Your Daily Life & Relationships Look Like?
In this episode (#316) we focus on the critical role of proactive honesty in healing relationships impacted by addiction, betrayal, and trauma. Proactive honesty goes far beyond “not lying”—it means leading with truth rather than waiti...
No Bullsh*t—What’s ACTUALLY Blocking An Addict’s TRUE Change?
This episode (#315) challenges the common illusion that visible recovery behaviors—meetings, therapy, sobriety streaks—automatically equal real change. Using a devastating listener submission as the catalyst, we explain why relapse after “recov...
How to Attain REAL and LASTING Change in 2026!
As a new year begins, many addicts and betrayed partners feel both hope and heartbreak—hope that things can change, and heartbreak from remembering all the years they didn’t. In this episode, we explain why traditional New Year’s resolutions of...
Face the Devastation You Have Heaped Upon Your Partner and then CHOOSE TO CHANGE!
In episode #313, we address a hard but necessary truth: addicts cannot change what they refuse to see. Using two deeply moving submissions from betrayed partners, we illustrate how years of porn use, dishonesty, staggered disclosure, and fake r...
My Partner is in Recovery. Should we let the past go and move on? Is there a place for “grieving” what was lost?
Episode 312—Many couples in recovery assume that progress means focusing only on the future, but this mindset often overlooks the deep losses created by addiction and betrayal. Partners may grieve the relationship they thought they had, the yea...
After Years of Porn Use, Will I Ever See My Partner as the “Most Attractive” Person in My Life?
In this episode (#311), we respond to a vulnerable question from an addict early in recovery who wonders whether years of porn use have permanently damaged his ability to see his wife as the most attractive person in his life. He worries that n...
When are Specific Details about an Addict's Behavior Helpful or Harmful for a Partner?
This episode (#310) examines one of the most complex issues couples face after sexual betrayal: determining which details about an addict’s behavior genuinely help the betrayed partner heal, and which unintentionally deepen her trauma. When dis...
What is "Integrity Abuse" and How does it Impact the Betrayed Partner?
In Episode 309, Mark & Steve address a PBSE listener's questions about "Integrity abuse," which is a relational pattern where one partner chronically violates core commitments—honesty, transparency, fidelity, emotional responsibility, and s...
Why My Body Shuts Down: Understanding Sexual Trauma Responses After Years of Betrayal
This episode (#308) focuses on a partner whose body has completely shut down sexually after decades of betrayal, manipulation, and sexual violation—including being touched while unconscious. We explain how her body has not suddenly changed sinc...